Teenagers Question 'Young Joe's' Cooldom

You know Pfft, Science! is always here to bring you the most timely news. I was listening to the radio in my truck the other day and Joe Walsh's "Life's Been Good" came on. Considering the song was written in 1978 (making Joe Walsh 30-31 at the time), I really have to wonder where the lyric came from calling Joe "Young Joe." I mean 30 isn't that old. But in the fickle business of wearing spandex and singing naive love songs like it's the first time anyone has ever done that, 30 pretty much makes you the equivalent of the guy who used to be able to hit, field and run - but then went to the American League because he can't do much more than stand and swing anymore.


Excerpt from the song:
Lucky I'm sane after all I've been through
Everybody say young Joe, he's cool
I can't complain but sometimes I still do
Life's been good to me so far

Poor Spellers Should Not Be Able to Own Guns

One of our Southern District reporters found this story. It is a tale of murder and stupid muthafu--ers shooting people for no other reason than they happened to find someone on their land. The thing that stood out to me was this toothless yokel family's sign outside that reads: "Trespassers will be shot. Survivers will be reshot. Smile I will." Aside from the fact that this is creepy on the level of the hillbillies in Deliverance or the family from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, it got me thinking. Should people who are this fucking ignorant be able to own firearms? 'Cause guns don't kill people, people kill people.