Shar Thinly Veiled Tribute to Cher

It has always seemed to me that D&D has a thing for Cher. You might remember our story "Vistani: Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" from back in 2007 where we examined the parallels between Cher and the Vistani, coming to the conclusion that the only reasonable explanation was that the writers behind Ravenloft were paying tribute to the pop Goddess.

The other day I realized this was not the first tribute D&D has paid to Cher, however. While flipping through the Forgotten Realms handbook, I came upon the Goddess, Shar. Hmm...that name sounds familiar, doesn't it? Then I thought about what Shar represents:

from wikipedia:
Shar, 'Mistress of the Night', 'Nightsinger', 'Lady of Loss', or 'The Darkness' is a fictional deity in the Dungeons & Dragons Forgotten Realms campaign setting. She presides over caverns, dark, dungeons, forgetfulness, loss, night, secrets, and the Underdark. Shar is an ancient goddess, although doesn't look a day over 45. Among her array of twisted powers is the ability to see everything that lies or happens in the dark, as well as to spread her Word via one out-of-retirement tour after another.

Sound like anyone we know?

Hellmouth Soon to Open in Oklahoma

Some weird happenings are going down in the town of Sallisaw, Oklahoma. Our paranormal division at Pfft, Science! has theorized that the only thing that explains this mystery is that somewhere beneath Sallisaw is a soon-to-open Hellmouth! Oh, shit! Sorry to bring the bad news, citizens of Sallisaw. Our suggestion is get out of town now, or wait until this wonderful mystery is spoiled by scientists who figure out the sound and shaking is nothing more than a faulty logging machine that produces a noise beyond human perception when it is shut down for lunch everyday. Scientists ruin everything, just like they did with Noah's Ark and the Loch Ness Monster.

4029tv.com reports:
Sallisaw,Okla. -- The Sequoyah County Sheriff's Office has been flooded with over a hundred calls since Tuesday. Residents from Tenkiller Lake to Roland have described hearing a mysterious blasting sound followed by a slight vibration everyday at noon. They also said the vibration is causing the windows and pictures to shake. Ron Lockhart, the Sequoyah County Sheriff, said the department has checked with every mining company in the county but none have reported any blasting. The sheriff's department has also looked into the possibility of earthquakes or tremors.
The U.S. Geological Survey has reported activity in Sequoyah County but does not believe it to be seismic. The Sequoyah County Sheriff said the department will continue to investigate the movement and ask residents to call the Sheriff's Department if they hear or feel anything.

Earnest Idea Gets Mocked as Bad Science

Last night when my buddy Rich picked me up, I made a pitch of what I thought is a pretty unique way countries and space exploration could make good use of the moon, since it's largely a "dead" rock. Basically we rocket the appropriate equipment to the moon and excavate huge pieces of moon real estate so these town-sized megaliths could be moved into orbit. Then when high enough, drop these moon blocks and let the moon's gravity pull them down causing cataclysmic impacts. The pressure would be so great that you end up with slews of diamonds.

Obama Joins Melee of Crossover Comics

Much of our readership is familiar with my love for tasteful crossovers. Now we can add Obama to the cast of the "Vs." universe, along with Aliens, Predator, Terminator, Robocop, Batman, Punisher, X-Men, Star Trek. Hell, even Freddy and Jason got in on that stuff. NBC will be covering the Inaugural Match on January 20 between Obama and Punisher. We have our Foreman grills and microwave popcorn ready to go.

John Madden: "First let me say Obama is a great kid. This guy has sacrificed most of his adult life to bring justice and compassion to the people he has represented. Also, Obama is the guy who beat Predator who in turn beat Alien. Yet Obama went soft on Alien, only pulling out a victory in the final seconds by playing hardball upon realizing that unlike other illegal aliens, Alien's goal for taking over America was a real threat. So how will Obama match up next Tuesday against Punisher?"

Bob Davie: "Let me tell you, John, when I was coaching at Notre Dame one thing you learn quickly is adapt adapt adapt. Sure, on paper Punisher is perfectly tailored to bypassing a government style offense. But Obama is an unknown. If Punisher relies on his normal game play style, he may find himself taken by surprise by Obama's unique style."

Pilot Goes to Extreme Lengths to Do Lousy Job of Faking Death

It doesn't say much for the imaginations of finance managers that this guy thought a plane without a body (and the off-chance someone would see him swooping down in a parachute) would fool the crack team of CSI. I guess this guy thought if there wasn't a body in the plane, he must be dead. Apparently he had some motive back home to fake his death, which makes things even fishier.

On the other hand, any guy who is willing to crash a 750K plane, stash a motorcycle in the countryside under a faux mat of astroturf, and do a mid-air James Bond out of his plane earns at least some mirthful respect from me.

Here's the brief from CNN:

Missing pilot may have fled on motorcycle:
An Indiana financial manager who apparently tried to fake his death by crashing his airplane left on a motorcycle he had stashed in his parachute landing zone, authorities said today. Marcus Schrenker fled Harpersville, Alabama, on a red motorcycle he kept at a storage unit leased under an assumed name, officials said.

Who Copped Who?

It was 13 years ago that thez0rk and Wester began their ongoing discussion regarding the back and forth of insults between Ministry frontman, Al Jourgensen, and Rob Zombie about who copied whose style. While this deep mystery has become a bit of a cornerstone to the lives of both thez0rk and Wester, neither feel they have a definitive answer as to which rocker stole whose trademark look. But, alas, the best mysteries are the ones that remain elusive.

Yo, Dude, That's Boring