A short manifesto on industry in America

I think big business should be able to do just about anything they want to cut down on operation costs...therefore this notion that industrialism over the last 120 years and cars and factories burning trillions of tons of black sooty fossil fuels into the atmosphere is somehow hurting the planet is preposterous and is bad science.

Guy Who Has Never Heard Paula Abdul Song "Rush" Reworks It As Parody of Rush Limbaugh

This link features a parody of the song in question with the following disclaimer:

"A song about Rush Limbaugh's racist comments against a black quarterback. I, as a white boy, am deeply offended by this Limbaugh guy. BTW, I have never heard of the song I am parodying before."

How awesome is that!

Neverwinter Nights 2 Producers Not Very Subtle About Love for Redheads

So the other day I'm building a character for Neverwinter Nights 2. I followed the philosophy of legendary RPGer, Ricardo Fowler, which states that if you are going to invest tens of hours into looking at a character on-screen, you might as well make it a hot chick that's nice to look at. After going back and forth with a brunette, blonde or redhead, I finally decide to go with a redhead.

The funny thing is as I play through the game and pick up henchmen, I find that three of the four females are redheads! Neeshka the Tiefling rogue has red hair. Qara the fire mage has it. And Elanee, the Elf druid, is an auburn. This is an oddity considering how few redheads I run into statistically in my day to day life. So what do I infer from all this: that the team of developers behind the game really REALLY likes redheads.

Wester Announces He Will Not See the Dark Knight

After seeing the movie poster, Wester has announced that he refuses to see the new Dark Knight, citing that it is insentive on the part of the movie makers to release an image so eerily similar to the 9/11 footage. Before a small gathering in South Bend today he announced, "I applauded Spider Man when they pulled a scene where Spidey made a web between both World Trade Towers. I was downright angry when I saw the explosion and white falling dust scene in Cloverfield. Why Batman wants to push our buttons by featuring a smoking, burning skyscraper is beyond me!"

Babysitter Not a Fan of Masters of the Universe

Hopefully most of you will remember the toys and cartoon called "Masters of the Universe," also referred to by some as "He-Man" - which I might add is one of the manliest names I know, more so than Dexter Manley, more so than George Strait. But I digress.

Anyway, thez0rk revealed that when he was a small boy, he watched Masters of the Universe in the morning at a babysitter's house. Apparently, the babysitter was really bothered by the name Masters of the Universe because of her religious devotion. I remember thez0rk performing the scene with a contempt in his voice, "The Lord is my Master of the Universe." The tale of childhood trauma was quite funny to me in a way that it only can be if you weren't there yourself.

thez0rk then offered a final nugget of goodness. Apparently when the babysitter's boys wanted to watch the show, she would allow it, but only by first asking them, "Okay, but who is the real Master of the Universe?" The boys would shyly point up to the sky to where God is.

Quality stuff!

The New Yorker Mocks "Obama is a Muslim" Crowd

I know thez0rk and I have talked about the smear campaign calling Obama a radical Muslim over the last few months. Just when I think the myth has finally died, I run into someone who believes this stuff. So I take some joy in seeing The New Yorker giving a good bludgeoning to people who want to believe this rather ridiculous idea.

McDonalds Backs the Gays (And Has Lost Me as a Customer)

thez0rk pointed me in the direction of this. If you're looking for that right amount of shock and humor involving religious fanaticism and boycotting McDonalds, then this is your article.

To All the Fuckers Who Said I Made This Up

Shortly after the film Gremlins in 1984, a company called Ralston jumped on the obligatory bandwagon to cash in on a popular phenomenon by making a cereal after the movie. Several years later, around late Junior High or early High School, I mentioned to classmates that there had been a short-lived and forgotten cereal complete with jingle. I sang the song, which apparently sounded a little like the song from the Oompa Loompas from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. My classmates accused me of making up the jingle and the idea that there had been a Gremlins cereal. This was prior to the Internet so I had no way of proving what I knew was right. And unfortunately, when you are a kid, truth is determined by majority rule, or by the coolest kid. So this youtube link is for all you bitches who said I made up the Gremlins jingle...

Bowie Knife Not Named After David Bowie

This week in casual conversation, a very attractive friend made it apparent she thought that the Bowie Knife was named after David Bowie. Wester and thez0rk cooly explained that it was actually named after Jim Bowie from early American history and Alamo fame. Some have critized Wester and thez0rk for not really laying into this chick, claiming that the duo only exhibited restraint because she was hot. Wester and thez0rk have not commented regarding these allegations.

God's Wrath Manifests in Great Red Spot on Jupiter

A persistent hurricane 25,000 miles in diameter and twice the size of Earth continues to wreak havoc on Jupiter's Southern hemisphere. Although not certain of what types of life exist in Jupiter's vast cloudscape, televangelists have called the immense storm, with winds reaching up to 430km/h, a clear manifestation of God's anger toward Jovian society's toleration of abortion, homosexuality, sexual promiscuity, and (other)worldliness.