Marines Prosthelitize in Iraq

Ever since we set foot in Iraq, the whole situation has largely been a disaster. The body count (both U.S. troops and Iraqi citizens); the tens of thousands of maimed; the 700 billion dollar tab (plus interest); the whole no weapons of mass destruction thing; and so on. And then there is the bit of ugliness with things like Abu Ghraib, GTMO, and soldiers using the Qur'an as target practice. Today I read something that would be the perfect addition to the story if only the Iraq War were a farce written with fictional characters in the land of Oz. It is had been reported that some Marines were passing out coins with Bible verses written on them. I can only assume that this was done to convert Muslims in Iraq. But then again, maybe this sort of thing is best understood when we stop scratching our heads and accept that this is merely avant-garde, absurdist, performance art.

If You Don't Wear a Flag Lapel Pin Then You are Un-American (and Not My Friend)

Much has been made of Barack Obama not wearing a flag pin on his lapel, even though he has started wearing it sometimes. This whole issue reminds me of the post 9/11 zealotry where people and country stations burned Dixie Chicks CDs because, you know, if you don't take the Team America position ("America, Fuck Yeah!") by wearing the Red, White & Blue on your lapel, then you are a Liberal, commie bastard who should move to Canada. Anyway, Roland Martin over at CNN puts a nice spin on this issue by declaring that wearing a flag pin should be made the 28th Amendment!

Observations from overseas...

So my sincerest apologies...I've been a bad thez0rk these last few months. I lost my job (and subsequently had to find a new one..only thing worse than having a job is looking for one), got married (which involved, you know wedding preparation) and went on my honeymoon. Immediately after returning from the honeymoon, my lovely bride (mrs. oropesa-thez0rk) and I came down with a nasty case of food poisoning. I tell ya what...I may not enjoy spending an entire day projectile vomiting but the resulting weight loss is quite appealing. Those models are onto something...

Anyway, during the course of my honeymoon, I travelled well over 10,000 miles and visited 3 continents over the course of 17 days. I learned a few interesting things while there

• Apparently hotels in Europe don't like to provide their guests with wash clothes. I'm not sure how thoroughly clean you can get without one...I just know that when I got back to the states I spent about 45 minutes giving my ass a vigorous scrubbing...and I still feel kinda ikcy
  



• The French diet doesn't seem terribly healthy. Lots and LOTS of white bread, butter on everything, etc. You know why French people are so thin and pretty? THEY WALK EVERYWHERE. My fatass will go to get breakfast at McDonald's...which is in the shopping center directly NEXT to my house, rather than make the walk. Yeah, maybe we need gas that runs $10/gal, too.
  




• Egypt is a dirty, dirty place. I understand that the country is in the middle of a gigantic desert so NOTHING there is going to look clean....but the alleys piled several feet high with garbage? Wow. Just because you're a third world country doesn't mean you can't throw your shit out properly. I also saw garbage floating in their only water source, the Nile. I seriously wanted to dunk myself in a vat of purell after leaving. On a positive note, the Egyptian countryside (specifically between Alexandria and Giza) was quite beautiful and scenic.
  



• They have a Hardee's in Alexandria...they can't goddamn put one in South Florida BUT THEY HAVE ONE IN ALEXANDRIA FUCKING EGYPT. I'm just incensed about this.
  



• Visiting Turkey caused me to create a new phrase..."up my ass like a Turkish merchant." WOW are these guys aggressive. Imagine if everything you wanted to buy was like going to buy a car. Somebody constantly in your face hustling you....yeah, I tried to buy a leather jacket which is frivolous at best since I live in South Florida...so $800 for a silk leather jacket ain't gonna happen. When I told this merchant that I couldn't spend that sort of money, I wasn't a wealthy man...well, the look on his face was classic
  



• Egyptian merchants are like the low-rent, bottom feeding versions of the Turkish merchants. I understand that Egypt has high unemployment and a skyrocketing population but it's unfortunate they only try to profit from their past glories (i.e. pyramids, etc). The sales tactics would be amusing if they weren't so fucking annoying. The most classic tactic is to offer a camel ride around one of the pyramids. They'll charge you x dollars or euros to get ON the camel...and then when you're ready to get down, they'll charge you an even higher fee to get off. Sheisters of the lowest order....they're also masters of sounding really hurt when you walk away from them.
  

I have a lot more to share, but I'm tired of typing.

Wester Off Week and a Half Pasta and Meatball Diet

Two weeks ago Wester returned from Florida to find the power had been off for an unknown number of days at his Dad's house. The most important consequence of this was that the remaining meat in the freezer had defrosted. After examining the various packages of meat, Wester realized there was still a little bit of ice left, which meant that the meat was not completely thawed. Like a paramedic rushing a gunshot wound victim to the emergency room, Wester loaded up into his truck several pounds of chicken breasts and thighs and a monster 8 lbs. container of hamburger. And that night the cooking marathon began that will forever be remembered.

Wester ate chicken for three days - breakfast, lunch, dinner. After that, he began digging into the three large tupperware containers filled with hamburger meat. Many will be shocked by knowing that for a week and a half only an occasional meal was replaced with something such as Subway or ham salad. For those ten days, each night after work, Wester began a ritual of dicing (OHHHH!!!!!) Roma tomatoes and Jalapeno peppers, busting the basil out of the spice cabinet, and dining on a plate of pasta and meatballs.
It seemed only fitting that after such a red letter date in his history, that this legendary time would be given it's own proper noun. Wester felt deeply that the cow's sacrifice should not go in vain by allowing the meat to spoil. He has informed us that he has christened this series of meals as "The week and a half of pasta and meatballs."
We respect the effort. But the title can use some work.